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I’m feeling pretty good about myself today. I looked in the mirror and was satisfied with my appearance (almost naked) for the first time in… well the first time. I haven’t dropped a lot of weight just a couple of pounds, and I have been taking better care of myself. No more binge drinking and less caffeine. lol yes that might have something to do with it. I still want to be thinner but I’m happy with the way I look. I’m not ashamed of myself when I go outside or pass myself in the mirror. I’m such a teen bopper. I want to point out that watching videos in Psych class about Bulimia Nervosa make me so hungry! I shoot to Tim’s right after a lecture; for a blueberry bagel as fast as I can in the cold. Mm. I refuse to touch anything at The Rooster or Olies. They just seem like poor choices, just looking at their logos.

What was I saying again? Yes, so. I’m thinking of doing some things for myself, that I have wanted to do for awhile, about my appearance. Nothing to do with clothes or weight. I am putting aside some money from my pay from work and finally getting those piercings. I want to have two more on my right lobe and then one more higher up on the cartilage of my ear. Just two hoops and a clasp (if that’s what they are called). That’s going to cost quite a bit of money and I am not going to do them all at once, blates.

Another things is obviously my hair. I’m happy that I am growing it out finally, and for once it is coming along nicely. I was going to buy some more Manic Panic blue hair dye and have Robbie’s girlfriend, Amanda, put some streaks in my hair. Just a few. I want a touch of color. It will wash out eventually.

Finally, pantie sets. I saved up some money, and am going to Lasenza tomorrow for some wonderful sets of underwear and bras. Not making a statement by saying that. Just want to have them and they make me feel nice. Because yeah, I’m a girl. I sometimes forget that.

Other than that I have nothing to report. I was pulling a Grocery List entry on all of you. Who was really reading this, say ‘Aye’ if you did. Doubt you will, even if you did.

Anything else, anything else. No I’m just pretty content with life at the moment. Everything feels like it’s in its place. I don’t mind not going out every night. I have art projects to finish, things to think about, stuff to be planning for, letters to write, books I enjoy readings and lattes and teas to drink in the company of myself and the chatters of the strangers around me. I’m fully content for this moment, and I plan to ride it out. How can you beat a feeling like that? I don’t think happiness even can. Love certainly can’t. It’s too short and moody.



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February 2009
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